In my role as a meditation teacher I often feel like people don't get a chance to know the real me. They see a curated persona who speaks with a calming tone of voice, someone who spent two years living in a Buddhist monastery and has written two books on meditation and spiritual life. I can imagine those things might give them certain misleading ideas about me. Behind that persona, the truth is that I struggle a lot with anxiety. I don't mean regular garden-variety anxiety,

Resentment is something I’ve been processing lately. Until recently, I didn’t realize how many resentments I was carrying, or how toxic it was for me, until I took a hard look day after day at the thoughts that were occupying my mind. My process of grieving the loss of my mom is not over, and I'm no longer sure that grief really has an end. In any case, I will need more time than I ever imagined to feel fully functional again. But in the process of healing and getting back to

When my mother passed away I experienced a rush of adrenaline with everything that needed to be done. Saying goodbye, literally and emotionally. Dealing with hospital administrators. Funeral arrangements. Not to mention everything that needed to be done during the final weeks before her death. After she passed away I was high on adrenaline and in shock. I was desensitized from the magnitude of what had happened. In the months to come there were tears every day. Driving in the

Over the past few weeks I’ve been working much harder on my body than I used to, for various reasons: for weight loss, for endurance, for mind-body connection. I have dedicated at least an hour time every day for physical activity, whether it’s yoga, running, rolling on a massage ball, swimming, or weight training. This is not merely for fitness or health purposes. For me my exercise time is a nurturing and therapeutic time, especially my runs on the beach and my yoga in my l

It has been almost 15 years since I took my first yoga certification. And it has been probably 14 years since I became a full-time yoga instructor. My life between the ages of 25 and 39 has centered around the practice and teaching and study and business of yoga. My practice has morphed so many times, like one of those beautiful cephalopods that change color based on the environment they are in. I could definitely say that my practice has always been a reflection of my life's

We all face various obstacles in our paths. Over the years in my yoga and meditation practice I have struggled with powerful “enemies.” Some of them haunt me consistently while others seem to come and go. When they appear, they can rob the beauty and life out of the practice by distracting us, shifting our focus onto things that are not important. Beware. They are out there, and they will show up when you least expect them. Let me introduce you to eight of mine. Self. I was n

I stood staring at the tiny white pill in my hand. I was supposed to believe that this pill would alleviate my pain, my fears, my inability to function, my sadness and disconnection from the things I loved, my extreme and disturbing thoughts about life and death. It took me a few minutes to swallow my pride before I could swallow the pill. I knew I was moving into unknown territory. On paper, it didn’t make any sense for me to be experiencing a “major depressive episode,” as

Over the last few months I’ve been puzzling over this.... What is the best way to handle it when other yoga teachers come to your class and decide to put extra scoops of protein and spirulina into every single posture or flow you offer? They go for the large size fries even if you offer only the small. They go for Venti even if you offer only Tall. They add extra shrimp even when the plate only comes with veggies. What's the highest road to take? Should you say something when